Gay life in Switzerland. A 72 y.o. gay man interview

Form n. 6 - date-time : 2011-08-21 08:13:13

0) My country

Switzerland

1) My age

1938 i.e. 72

2) My sexual orientation and its development

Since i was child, at the primary school (age 7) i was attracted by male nudity and contact with male bodies.

3) When and how I understood to be gay

in the early fifties (age 12 and up) homosexuality was not known and misunderstood with pedophilia. Homosex behaviour between men over 18 years was free according to our federal laws (since 1942) (girls ad a protection age of 16 years) main reason to protect homos was potential blackmailing (see german motion pictures in the 30,,, Catholic church was responsible to hide homosex as tabou. Reformed churches were much more open to the problem. My mother (reformed swiss german exceptionally well informed because of of some other people in the familiy who have recognised to be gay) realised rather early my unusual behaviour, that i denied until the age of 22 abter beingn caught in flagrance with a friend of mine. I got warned by my mother against the discriminations of the society in the catholic southern Switzweland and near Italy.

4) When and how I accepted my being gay

At 20 i went to study to Zuerich Polytechnic and i was able to live my homosexuality. srarting with cruising parks and lavatories and later getting into friendship-love relationships with other students. Durig holidays i went as a student often to Berlin where gay life was great.

5) The difficulties I encountered in the acceptance of my gay identity

The fact of beeing obbliged to hide my identity with the other 'normal' students and have to carry the mask of eterosexuality.

6) Hard situations I faced and I must face as a gay

At 27 (1965 !!!)I was not able to stop my social environment to get married with a girl. She knew i was gay but she was sure to help me to heal. i never had sex intercourse withher and i was able to leave a parallel double life thanks to my job that required extensive traveling.

7) Who knows I’m gay

As and indipendent engineer i was involved in the first environmental protection campains in Ticino, but i could afford to freely be gay in Zuerich ( not in Ticino where i was well known public person). My family knew, some brothers in law were hidden gays too....) In the middle of the '80 i came back from Zuerich to Ticino and i started organising the first group of organised Gay association and were quite well accepted by the authorities. The advent of AIDS got a considerable influence in the process of coming out of many people because the federal health autorities wanted to be able to contact gay population to realise the prevention campains. I mad my official coming out within this context.

8) My relationship with my parents

My mother knew and supported me. my parents, cousins and so on accepted me according to my accademical degree....

9) My relationship with my friends

my wife was very happy to have good relations with my friends. She invited them quiteoften to our home. The soty endend the day she fell in lobve with my friend and lover. I divorced after 25 years of *marriage".

10) Where does my knowledge of gay reality come from

My traveling in the States (SF) and especially in Berlin i could get the historical bbackground of the gay movemen: i actively participated in the recent history of gay emnacipationin switzerland (gay couple's recognition and so on.

11) My relationship with my nakedness and others'

my grandfather was founder of the first FKK in the '30. i was certianly one of the first who got naked at the border of rivers in some hidden places in our valleys. Certainly some sexual pleasure played a role. On the other hand, in ascona (monte Verità) nakedness was almost a religion...

12) My relationship with masturbation

No problem. my mother told me that the catholic church was condemning it and was claimed that you might get blind... the wohe thing was according to her bullshit. She just told me that the respect and knoledge of your body was necessary tobe able to get into relation with the body of other people.

13) My relationship with pornography

Tom of Finland drawings came in the '70. is pornography art? In some cases certaily, in other cases is just pornograpgy ijn the bad sense of the word.

14) My relationship with meeting-websites and erotic chat

I know internet since the very beginning (1993). From the point of view of AIDS prevention, this kind of contacts has been considered to be 100 & SAFE and therefore we contributed to their development.

15) How did a I deal with my emotions/sexuality

Sexuality IS emotion. power of life.

16) My relationship with girls

I had to keep them at a safe distance, in order to avoid the trouble of my denial. later i had to do with lesbians. i realised that male gay and lesbians are two different worlds. I had to cooperate with them (with my brain, not my hearth)

17) My relationship with hetero guys

heteros, once they knew they got very friendly asking for advice. The same thing happende with girls who supposed i was especially well informed of the male peculiarities when in love....

18) My relationship with gay guys

if chemistry between us works, good regular relations with sex too. No chemistry = no sex, but quite nice meetings according to other common interests.

19) What strikes me most in a guy

He is a MAN. The ease of communication, the exchange of feelings at the same wavelength (women have a different frequnecy). This is true for both etero&(bi?) as well as gay guys.

20) My previous emotional life

I was a happy gay.

21) My current emotional situation

I'm a happy gay

22) My emotional satisfaction level

my friends love me, i love them

23) My sexual satisfaction level

i 'm still very active and satisfied, in spite of my age. It's a question of training...

24) The weight of sex in my emotional world

SEX is important because are strictly connected.

25) What I want from my boyfriend

i have many friend around me. I cannot expect from them but be there and enjoy together life in all their many aspects. Time to enjoy is getting shorter and shorte...

26) What I think I can give my boyfriend

Some good word, if word are really necessary tom exchange feelings.

27) What I wish related to my emotional/sexual life

No whishes, i got a lot from life. Whishes might spoil your relation to reality.

28) Frustrations related to my emotional/sexual life

frustration are a very bad feeling. A good fuck is many time the best solution to any frustration.

29) What I want to know about the emotional life /sex of other gay guys

i whish i could help some people to really get rid off their frustrations an feeling of guilt. Most of the life connected to sexuality is just a question of luck. Be optimist if you are able to or, i'd say, if you are enabled to)

30) How much I am informed about the risks related to certain sexual behaviors

Acoording to the Aids prevention campains i helped to run, a lot. but Theory is one thing, practice another...

31) Suggestions to improve this service

Inchieste del genere erano già state realizzate in svizzera via internet nel 1996/8. Non so dove siano finiti quei dati.... Mi scusomper l'inglese una pssatina con google potrebbe aiutare l'ortografia. uno degli effetti gerontologici è la diminuzione della pazienza.... conn il grado di concentrazione. Rileggerò il tutto fra qualche giorno... saluti